Photographers: You have a responsibility to your brides

I just finished a wedding this past weekend that I knew would be difficult to photograph. Less than a week before this wedding, the bride reached out to me and said that her mother had died unexpectedly two weeks ago.

Needless to say, she was devastated. Her dreams of having a beautiful wedding were falling apart as she had little time or energy to figure out final details. The guest list dwindled down due to family drama that unfortunately often comes with death. And the thought about who would now put her veil on just made her want to disappear into despair.

The beautiful bride, right before she walked down the aisle.

I just wanted to help in whatever way I could.

So I worried less about being her photographer, and more about just BEING there for her. Granted, I still worked crazy hard and got all the beautiful photos she wanted. But I also tried to be her friend and a listening ear, and I tried to still make it the happiest day of her life.

During this process, I began thinking that this is what photographers SHOULD do! They should do whatever it takes to support their brides and grooms.

While photographing weddings, I haven’t just taken pictures — I’ve fixed boutonnieres, handed out tissues, reapplied a bride’s lip gloss, mediated family disputes, made garters to toss out of table decorations, moved chairs and set centerpieces, and I’ve been one of the last people to see a bride in those final moments before she walks down the aisle.

When you take the role of a wedding photographer, you are taking on so much more than just “the person who takes the photos.” You owe it to your brides and grooms to be there for them with whatever they need!

The bride and groom — after the "I do"

Hopefully, you’ve built a relationship with them leading up to the wedding, and you can’t betray that. These brides and grooms trust you, and they need you. You offer a unique role that no one else plays — you are not a friend or family member, and yet you’ve built a trusting relationship with them.

So go out of your way to see what your brides and grooms need, and act on that. Let them talk — or cry — to you, help them work through problems, give them a voice when they get drowned out by people they are trying to please.

Just look, pay attention and then act.

To me, being a wedding photographer is such a special and intimate job, and I plan on living up to that in every way I can.